The Whole Fifty Innings

Alaska, who’ve had Republican representation about as often as they’ve had hot dinners (Which would be a lot) has changed to Democrat. This should be hilarious for obvious reasons.

Putting the Democrats on 58 seats, 2 shy of making the Senate filibuster-proof, I look to Michigan, Missouri and Georgia, whose elections are in contention.

Not expecting much of Missouri as they’re down to counting provisional votes and Obama would have to make off with a large swag, akin to a sack with a dollar sign on it, to win. Michigan doesn’t have a clear winner and so must employ actual flesh and blood people to hand count the ballots and I’m hopeful in this regard as Al Franken, Democrat hopeful and infamous name of Saturday Night Live, is only 208 shy of winning. However all my wishes must go to Georgia.

A threeway race with no clear winner must, under Georgia state law, hold a re-election involving only the top two candidates and, with a three point difference between Senator Saxby Chambliss staying in the Senate, as opposed to having Hillbillies scraping him off the bitumen for dinner after having been curb-stomped to death, let’s just say I’m grinning while lacing up my Docs.

Saxby Chambliss, notorious for a lot of things, got international press after marrying his opponent – a Vietnam veteran and triple-amputee – to Al Qaeda by way of a politcal commercial in order to win in 2004 and somehow didn’t get fed to ravenous gila lizards as a result.

Somewhere, Patton Oswalt is praying feverently for Baby Jesus to T-Bone Chambliss with a train.


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