I’d taken a small hiatus from Pokemon over the long weekend. Reinvigorated I returned and once more the Pokemon Juggernaut spared none in its path. Here’s a picture:
Whatever! undergoes training not unlike Rocky Balboa only with less punching of beef carcasses and more wailing on wild pokemon who had a go ’cause they thought they’re hard enough. For a Pokemon who doesn’t like fighting, he’s a natural talent. Of course this might have to do with him being level 11 and his opponents being level 3 to 6 but if you want to start something, be sure you can finish it. Many hours of grinding results in a level 14 Nidoran who, apparently learning from Shaolin Masters while in his Pokeball, develops the technique – double-kick. This turns out to be very useful later on.
Taserbait is sidelined for the moment and Whatever! is high enough. Time to cast my eyes for a new Pokemon to add to the collective and that comes in the form of a level 7 Pidgey. Swiftly captured, the Pokedex once again defies the facts and informs me that Pidgeys don’t like to fight either.
What!!?? Doesn’t like to fight!! I don’t know where this Pokedex is getting its data but its clearly not from the several dozen battles with Pidgey’s I’ve had since I started this game. I’m up to my armpits in feathers from the legion of birds that fell folly to their savage instincts. I’d make another Hitchcock joke but I’ve really only got one and that was several posts back. Bloody hell!!
Still I am not wholly without feelings for pacifism, its just that those feelings are typically ones of scorn and derision. This may explain why my Pidgey is called “Gandhi”. Once more unto the grind, dear friends and speaking of which, Delia mentions that I probably should start, you know, PLAYING THE GAME! I tell her that Blitzkrieg is a perfectly legitimate strategy reliant upon only one factor: Overwhelming Force. Overwhelming force wins every time and for those who disagree and can cite proof, I should mention that the key word is Overwhelming. If you lose, then you weren’t overwhelming at all. Better luck next time! So I strive to measure my Pokemon against this harsh criteria.
Still, my patience for such grinding wanes. I grow tired of these minor victories. I want to face something new. Brock waits at the gym and I want to he see him flee before me and hear the lamentations of his Pokemon. Armed with two level 14’s and one level 11, I step into the arena.
“Brock! Gather your courage and your Pokemon for tonight, they dine in hell!”
“Hey, before you can fight Brock, you have to go through me!”
Some weedy little kid dressed like a Little League player gets in my face. He’s listed as a junior trainer and it takes considerable effort, on my part, not to mock him. I then wonder why I bother and do so anyway. The Junior Trainer responds by throwing out a level 9 Diglett and a level 9 Sandshrew. This makes me laugh even harder. Go Taserbait! Thundershock Attack!
“Your electrical attack has no effect on earth based Pokemon, sucker!”
Regrouping, I explore other combat options. Fortunately Taserbait isn’t just a cheap renewable energy source. He has other attributes. Namely claws, teeth and a good five levels of fight club experience over his opponent. Diglett goes down like a Taiwanese schoolgirl but not without dolling out some harshness on Taserbait. Deciding that I didn’t want him to hog all the glory anyway I decide to let Gandhi get blooded before swapping him out with Whatever to finish the job. Gandhi gets blooded alright but not in the way I was hoping. Turns out earth based Pokemon are tough little bastards. Still Gandhi only needs to throw one punch (or gust) in this case for him to get any xp and thank God cause one tackle from Sandshrew takes him down by a little over half his health. Tagging in Whatever!, I’m still confident I can win this as I haven’t had to resort to any potions and I’ve got a fully healthy Pokemon. Ready to get dragged down into a Poke-frenzy, I have Whatever! use his double-kick.
“Double kick is super effective”
I smile, and then smile wider as it turns out double kick hits the opponent twice. Sandshrew gets four kicks to the face and is on the ropes from over two thirds of his health. At that point it’s all over bar the shouting and Junior Trader becomes one more victim before the might of my Pokemons. Moreover, as Brock relies exclusively on rock pokemon, I’ve found his weakness. Thanks Junior Trader, can I call you Judas?
I’ll spare the crushing defeat that I laid upon Brock’s Pokemon with Whatever! Suffice to say, I won with one Pokemon versus his two. The spoils of war were two new techniques and something called a “Boulderbadge”. Basically it’s a trophy to say that I decimated Brock. I was hoping for a scalp or maybe an eye but this works too, I guess.