What does your car say about you?


I don’t own this car per se, but I drive the Toyota Landcruiser 4WD and it says “Fuck you all for driving on the same road as me”.  It makes more noise, blows more smoke and is about as tough as a steam locomotive.  To drive behind the Landcruiser is to risk suffocation.  You’d think there is a team of tiny men shoveling coal into a furnace instead of an engine.  And you might be right.



The car is rugged, tough and should it get involved in a crash, it will be mutually assured destruction at the least.  Otherwise it’ll roll away and you’d never know different.  This car does not have any guff for the nicer automotive features.  Despite having air conditioning, power steering, electric windows and a sunroof installed at the factory and repaired often, the Landcruiser forces such traits out like they were pansy mutations.  Like trying to convince a footballer to wear pink, such accessories bring the car’s toughness into question.  And so they are expunged.



The Landcruiser predates the euphemistically named “Nudge Bar” (As if you’re allowed to nudge other cars if you have one).  It has a BULLBAR.  And not just because it can survive a head on collision with a charging bovine.  It’s called a bullbar because the 4WD will charge you and you will be gored by twisted sharp bits of rusted metal.  Like horns, only with tetanus.



Regardless of its large carrying capacity for passengers and/or mining equipment, this car takes no prisoners.  It disregards the rights of other automobiles, traffic islands and children.  You’ll notice such obstacles in the suspension but it will be a self-assured bump.  Another battle won another notch in the dashboard.


$2000.00 or best offer.


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