Is Your Refrigerator Running?


It’s become lame and had to be put down in an act of mercy that I’m not otherwise known for. Alerted to startling new developments in the chorus of fridge noises by my roommate, my sound knowledge of electronics deduced that when FIRE is coming from underneath the fridge, its time to pull the plug.

Not so much fire as sparks but still…

People who have seen the location of the fridge will recall the amount of plastic bags stacked next to it. I remember, with some fondness, the fact that we were chipping ice that melted into water the other day, right where the sparks spat and hissed mere hours ago. The potential for everything to get fucked over sideways has been playing out in my head and I’ve decided to channel this into some writing.

And some eating as nothing improves an appetite more than the idea of wasted steak.

All is not lost. We have an emergency fridge stored in the garage for this inevitable day. It appears the food has migrated successfully although any lingering germs and mould will be the final arbiter. And for those who have commented about the urgent need to defrost the freezer needn’t concern your selves any longer.

The morals of this story are numerous. Perhaps the most important is: Be wary about fire hazards, should your fridge become treacherous. Fridges can kill you in a myriad of exotic ways and no detective, fictional or otherwise, would deduce that your murder was the act of a white goods appliance gone mad.



  1. Take a wild guess who this is…

    I will mourn the passing of the fridge, much coke and pizza did it chill at my request. Just hope you used a decent weapon to finish it off, or you could always borrow one of my collection….. =)

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